People do quit jobs
People don’t quit jobs, they quit managers. That’s something I hear or read pretty frequently, at least. It floats around LinkedIn and Twitter/X every so often, especially when people are quitting jobs or dealing with shitty bosses. It makes sense, on the surface. Even if a job is bad, if youre manager is good, you’re more likely to stay. Maybe the company has a shitty CEO or working with the Sales or Engineering team is particularly difficult. But if your boss always sticks up for you and makes sure you’re paid well and publicly recognizes your efforts, a lot of people would stick it out. Probably because a boss who does those things is pretty rare.
Here’s the thing, though. A good manager who helps you learn and grow while you’re at an otherwise crappy job will likely show you that you could have more and better opportunities elsewhere. A very good manager will probably help you find a better opportunity elsewhere. When that’s the case, it’s definitely not true that you quit your manager rather than the job.
I’ve been lucky enough to have had a couple of great bosses in my career. One of them was a guy named Stew. He wasn’t even my boss, originally. He was my boss’s peer. But he looked out for me, for some reason. I like to think that he saw something special in the brash young kid who just started his civil service career, but the truth is probably more mundane. He needed someone to work on some project in his group and I was always hanging around, so he picked the closest (albeit loudest) person.
Whatever the case may be, he and I worked together on and off for the twelve years I spent with the Department of Defense. When I got bored with my job in the aeroballistics division, he opened a role in his organization and offered to help me transfer over. He gave me interesting projects and helped me get funding for things I wanted to work on. We could not have been more different - he was bubbly and upbeat and I was a grouchy asshole for no reason. But he always had my back, so I always did what I could to help him out and I always tried to make him look good to his bosses.
It was under his leadership that I realized I didn’t want to work for the Department of Defense at all. When I handed in my resignation and left government work to join the San Francisco tech scene of 2013, it was his desk I put the signed letter on. He was sad to see me go, but he was supportive and happy for me. Exactly what you want from your boss.
I haven’t seen or heard from Stew since I quit back in January of 2013. I hope he’s doing well. I also hope that he retired and doesn’t have to put up with that shitty job anymore.
Stew was one of the best managers I’ve ever had. I learned a ton from him - how to manage multiple projects with competing needs, how to budget time and money across years of work, and most importantly, how to be kind and helpful to the people you work with even when you can’t stand them and think they’re the worst fucking people in the world. I didn’t quit that manager. I quit that job.
To get back to the point, there are a lot of reasons people quit jobs. The job, the manager, the leadership, the pay, the benefits… the list goes on. Common internet wisdom often sounds good and succinct while wildly missing the truth of anything. The real lesson, though, is to be like Stew. No matter how crappy the job is, look out for people.
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